Nine months!

Joseph is nine months old as of last Wednesday. I can hardly believe it!

As he has grown, each stage has had some challenges, but mostly lots of fun watching him learn how to do new things: rolling over, scooting/crawling, sitting up, learning how to go from sitting up to crawling without banging his head on the ground, standing, 'dancing' (him stepping around in place while I'm helping him stand up), smiling, babbling, cooing, giggling, 'talking' (he does say mama and dada! although not directly to us).

One afternoon when I picked him up from auntie Lauren he crawled over to me on the floor! It was wonderful. :) He is such a determined little guy when there is something he is focused on.

However, I'm having some trouble figuring out his new feeding schedule. I'm trying to keep him on a 5 breastfeeding, 3-4 solid feedings/day schedule because I'm worried that my milk production will decrease otherwise. However, some days he doesn't really seem to want to nurse fully (he's focused on everything BUT nursing), and some days he skips breastfeedings. Anyone have any experienced mommy tips for me? I want to adjust to his needs as they change, but I still do want to keep some semblance of order in our feeding schedule as well.

Too many teeth!

I have a teething machine. Joseph had 2 teeth come in at 4 months old, and now at almost 8 months of age he has 7 teeth (with more on the way!). I'm glad he's healthy and so "advanced," but sometimes I really, really wish he was a late bloomer who didn't get any teeth until he was 1 year old!

Thanks to the teeth, this past week we have been having problems with feeding. Joseph is a "hasty latcher," meaning that he clamps on very quickly. This wasn't a problem until recently when he started using his bottom teeth instead of covering them with his tongue. I was trying to work with him to get him to open wider, but he was struggling against any interference so I just dealt with the pain and figured it would get better.

Then, on the eve of Mother's Day, he bit down very quickly and got my nipple. Can I just say OUCH!!! I started bleeding and was freaking out a little bit because it's very emotional (and painful!) to feel like you can't figure out how to feed your own child. I was even down on myself a bit because, as a working mom, I sometimes feel like I'm not truly a mom in any way except in being able to breastfeed my son. He spends more time with his auntie and grandmas during the week than he does with me, which, although I am grateful that we have family to help, does sometimes make me concerned about his attachment to them vs. to me in the long run.

I ended up pumping that night and twice the next morning. Joseph wasn't having my interference when I tried to get him to latch in the morning, and he actually reached for the bottle that was sitting on the table nearby. (Talk about rejection.) I also was very nervous about getting him to latch on because I was looking at those teeth just waiting to clamp... Yikes!

I wasn't sure how things were going to end up this week, but (thanks be to God!) my Mother's Day present was being able to work with Joseph to get him to latch on pain-free! Yay! :)

In case anyone else is dealing with a similar problem, this is what I did: I used the hand that's not aiming the breast to push the bottom of his chin open as wide as possible - kind of like you're about to milk a snake (haha). The information I found online recommends cupping the hand underneath the chin, but that's a) uncomfortable and b) he doesn't like that even more than he doesn't like this! I also aim the breast at his nose per the recommendations found on kellymom. (It sounds weird but it does help!)

My husband also wrote me a really nice note in which he reminded me that mothering is about more than just feeding our son, and that he thinks I'm a great mother to Joseph. Of course, that made me start crying again, but it was really nice and it did help me to get out of the emotional valley I was stuck in.

Has anyone else had any special breastfeeding hurdles they've had to conquer?

Breastfeeding and culture

I've been thinking about this a lot lately as Joseph continues to grow: how long will I keep breastfeeding him?

There have been several incidences when I was thinking about not continuing anymore (ex: two days ago when the teething monster reappeared and bit me several times! tears and stress my friends.) but if I take things on a day-by-day basis these kinks tend to work themselves out and we've been doing really well overall.

However, will I keep breastfeeding once he is 1 year old? How about 14 months? 2 years? (Of course, this will depend on him too - if he self-weans I'm not going to keep pumping or try to get him interested in starting up again.)

One of the things I've been thinking about in conjunction with this is the cultural taboo of breastfeeding once your baby can walk/talk/reach your breast without aid. Girls in my eighth grade class used to share stories of a little girl called 'B' who was 4 or 5 and would ask her mom for milk in public. The negative connotations were obvious: ewww that's gross! She's too big to breastfeed! And ewww moms are old and shouldn't be sharing their boobs in public!

Now that I'm grown-up (and I do use the term loosely ;) I have a much different perspective. I think breastfeeding is the best for a variety of reasons, but I still find that I have an aversion to older kids breastfeeding. I watched the movie Babies when it came to the Little and was rather shocked at the nonchalant way in which the African mothers would hold out a breast to their kids (and possibly others' kids too?) of various ages. (Of course, there may be economic reasons for continuing to breastfeed too, but I think it's more cultural than anything else.)

I had another shock when I attended a La Leche League meeting and saw a mother with two kids tandem feeding - on one side was the 2-year old (or maybe older?), standing up and suckling, and on the other side was the 3-month old baby. That weirded me out! (Plus the older kid was sort of jealously staring at the baby while nursing.) And of course there is the obvious reference to the Grown-Ups movie with the "48-month old" demanding milk from his mom.

So is this merely the by-product of the culturally ingrained prejudice against breastfeeding for longer than 1 year? Or is it just weird? Tell me what you think.

Breastfeeding reflection interlude

I have 5 minutes to write and thought I'd take a break from cloth diapers today.

Breastfeeding is still going well - although Joseph has 5+ teeth (with more on the way) he's learned not to bite down on me while he's feeding. We still do have some contact issues (i.e., when latching or when he falls asleep while nursing) but 99% of the time it's all good!

However, as he's started eating more solids, he has been decreasing his milk consumption, so he's down to 6 feedings a day from 7-8 feedings a day. I'm sure he's still getting enough ounces (The boy is not losing any weight! He's my chunky monkey!) but it's a little weird to get used to the decrease after being so used to nursing frequently for 6 months. However, one big plus has been that I only have to pump 2 times a day instead of 3 or 4. Makes me happy and it doesn't take as much time away from work. So that is my happy thought for the day.

Also, who knew that unsalted rice cakes were so yummy?

Working and breastfeeding

Sometimes I don't like pumping. It's noisy, a little painful sometimes, and it forces me to take breaks even if I'm working on something important.

However, I was realizing today how blessed I am. I have the ability to produce healthy, wonderful food for my baby boy while I'm away from him. I'm even more blessed to have been able to afford a great electric pump that works really well (even though it's old!). And I'm able to work a "real job" to help obtain the income our family needs while my extended family helps us by watching our son. (And we are able to help my sister by paying her to watch him too!)

So, even though I'd rather be home with him all the time, I'm still very blessed. And I do like my job! Which is more than a lot of people can say. God is so good.

Formula is expensive!

So continuing on from the last post, I did some research into formula options today. Joseph is, indeed, supposedly allergic to cow's milk protein, so I am still going dairy-free. We do have the option to use some hypoallergenic formulas that have the protein more broken down, but after looking into cost (it will likely be about $12/day for formula!) and the ingredients (lots of corn and syrup and weird sounding things) I am just going to have to suck it up and keep breastfeeding.

I love my little boy and want him to have the best - even if that means I can't have cow's milk or *sob* sharp cheddar cheese.

However, one positive thing in the food arena has been the discovery that chocolate almond milk tastes very similar to chocolate milk! That is the new staple in our fridge. And yes, it's sweetened. :) The unsweetened stuff tastes too chalky for me. I like almonds, but not plain almond milk. (Weird, I know.)

Rice milk is still iffy but I have found that it is way better for baking than almond milk (seems to make things moister). I've been making homemade bread and brownies (using dairy-free "butter" and rice milk) and all of the above are delicious! However, I have to be careful because I could eat brownies all day long!

Breastfeeding... not for the faint of heart!

Joseph is now about 5 and a half months old. He's had two teeth since he was 4 months old, and now is teething again with the top two and two more on the bottom coming in. (Poor little man!)

I find it interesting that one thing people always seem to say regarding breastfeeding is that "it will get better." I heard it back when I was struggling to get started with breastfeeding--when sore, cracked nipples and cluster feedings from 10 pm to 1 am threatened to destroy what was left of my sanity--and now when my sore, cranky little boy occasionally chomps down when he's in pain. My philosophical wondering is if it will "get better" then why does it have to suck so much in the first place? ;)

I know that breastfeeding is best for a variety of reasons, but I am honestly VERY tempted to switch over to formula from time to time. Now that we are on more of a feeding schedule it's not nearly as bad sleep-wise and sanity-wise as it has been, but it's still a huge commitment (no doubt made more stressful by having to pump and try to keep my supply up while I'm at work four days a week). Also, we are pretty sure that Joseph has a dairy allergy, so all cow's milk dairy products have to be avoided while I continue to breastfeed him. This has been a challenge to me, both personally--I really and truly enjoy cheese and yogurt and even just plain old milk--and in regards to my cooking--how can I suddenly change the ingredients I'm used to using and still make good food that tastes good too?

Thankfully there are others who have gone through similar issues and have succeeded and who are willing to share their wisdom with me, but it is hard sometimes. I wonder if I was a stay-at-home mom if I would have the same qualms about continuing to breastfeed? I think it would be easier in many regards. But I'd still really miss eating cheese.

However, perhaps this ban on dairy is a blessing in disguise... after all, no dairy means no chocolate, no ice cream, no fatty (and delicious!!!) cheese fries from Outback, etc.