Formula is expensive!

So continuing on from the last post, I did some research into formula options today. Joseph is, indeed, supposedly allergic to cow's milk protein, so I am still going dairy-free. We do have the option to use some hypoallergenic formulas that have the protein more broken down, but after looking into cost (it will likely be about $12/day for formula!) and the ingredients (lots of corn and syrup and weird sounding things) I am just going to have to suck it up and keep breastfeeding.

I love my little boy and want him to have the best - even if that means I can't have cow's milk or *sob* sharp cheddar cheese.

However, one positive thing in the food arena has been the discovery that chocolate almond milk tastes very similar to chocolate milk! That is the new staple in our fridge. And yes, it's sweetened. :) The unsweetened stuff tastes too chalky for me. I like almonds, but not plain almond milk. (Weird, I know.)

Rice milk is still iffy but I have found that it is way better for baking than almond milk (seems to make things moister). I've been making homemade bread and brownies (using dairy-free "butter" and rice milk) and all of the above are delicious! However, I have to be careful because I could eat brownies all day long!

Breastfeeding... not for the faint of heart!

Joseph is now about 5 and a half months old. He's had two teeth since he was 4 months old, and now is teething again with the top two and two more on the bottom coming in. (Poor little man!)

I find it interesting that one thing people always seem to say regarding breastfeeding is that "it will get better." I heard it back when I was struggling to get started with breastfeeding--when sore, cracked nipples and cluster feedings from 10 pm to 1 am threatened to destroy what was left of my sanity--and now when my sore, cranky little boy occasionally chomps down when he's in pain. My philosophical wondering is if it will "get better" then why does it have to suck so much in the first place? ;)

I know that breastfeeding is best for a variety of reasons, but I am honestly VERY tempted to switch over to formula from time to time. Now that we are on more of a feeding schedule it's not nearly as bad sleep-wise and sanity-wise as it has been, but it's still a huge commitment (no doubt made more stressful by having to pump and try to keep my supply up while I'm at work four days a week). Also, we are pretty sure that Joseph has a dairy allergy, so all cow's milk dairy products have to be avoided while I continue to breastfeed him. This has been a challenge to me, both personally--I really and truly enjoy cheese and yogurt and even just plain old milk--and in regards to my cooking--how can I suddenly change the ingredients I'm used to using and still make good food that tastes good too?

Thankfully there are others who have gone through similar issues and have succeeded and who are willing to share their wisdom with me, but it is hard sometimes. I wonder if I was a stay-at-home mom if I would have the same qualms about continuing to breastfeed? I think it would be easier in many regards. But I'd still really miss eating cheese.

However, perhaps this ban on dairy is a blessing in disguise... after all, no dairy means no chocolate, no ice cream, no fatty (and delicious!!!) cheese fries from Outback, etc.

Status update

I haven't written on here in a long time. Thought I'd bring this up to speed so I can move on.

Our son, Joseph, was born on September 15, 2010 at 7:12 pm after 2 days of labor. I ended up having a Caesarean but he was healthy which was the most important thing! Being a mom is alternately wonderful and exhausting, but I wouldn't trade my little boy for anything.

Our dog, Link, did very well with Joseph. However, he seemed to have some sort of sickness that worsened when we switched him to a raw diet, and we had to put him down the weekend after Thanksgiving. He was only 10 months old. It was really, really hard (and sad) but we are happy that he is no longer sick. We miss him.

Life is very full and continues to change each day. I love my family and look forward to what is ahead!

Oh so tired

I thought I was tired during the first trimester, but I think the third is beating that by a lot. I feel tired pretty much all the time. Not to the point of being unable to function, but just a dragging weariness that slows me down and makes me dream of my bed frequently throughout the day. It also makes it really hard to wake up in the morning. The alarm clock is not enough of a motivation to move!

I have a doctor's appointment later today so am looking forward to that. Another step along the way!

Our childbirth class is this Saturday as well, and then my second baby shower is on Sunday. Quite a baby-filled week all in all!

Too happy to express

It's been a while but I'm back again!

As I sit here at work feeling our little boy move around, it makes me very happy to know he is alive and well! I hope he's growing big and getting ready to meet his mommy and daddy very soon! (8.5 weeks to go yikes!)

It's incredible how fast time has gone... Link is almost 6 months old and soon he will have a "brother" to love too.

Here's hoping and praying... for a safe and fast labor, a happy and healthy baby, and the ability to be the best mother I can be!

It's been a while

I have a lot of down time today while working the registration table at my event, so thought I'd post a little something for my one reader in Internet-land. :)

I've been wondering why I don't feel more excited when I think about the baby's arrival. I think it's because I am hesitant to be excited for things anymore since we've had big disappointments before. It's not that I don't trust and believe that our baby will arrive on time and perfectly fine in every way, but more that I can't comprehend what that will be like or feel like and therefore can't be excited about it because it's an unknown.

Kind of weird but that's what I think is going on right now. It's easier for me to be excited about our puppy and his accomplishments because he is here and now, whereas thinking about the future is less exciting because it's not here yet. Is this a good thing? I'm not sure. Maybe it's teaching me to wait on the Lord more.

When things happen then I can be happy? Are things supposed to determine my happiness? Probably not. But, it is nice when things work out for good, regardless.

I'm pregnant, not fat...

AAHHHH. So much going on right now. And every time I see my reflection I feel fat. I know I'm not, but it still feels that way.

So tired... and so much to do still... Lord, please help me make it through this day. Amen.