Long Post

Well, apparently I haven't updated this blog since January, so this post may be a bit long!

Joseph continues to grow and surprise us with his development. He's now 18 months, totally cute, and full of fun and activity! He's started singing the abc's and saying hi a lot. Looking forward to some more words soon. :) We went to the park today and had a lot of fun on the swings. It's close to 80 today which is very rare for Rochester in March! A nice break from the normal spring weather, and if it stays this warm through the summer I will be happy (although my pregnancy ankles might not be!).

We are still using cloth diapers, although today was one of the days I sometimes have when I don't like them as much. (3 messy poops... thankfully no leakages and my husband changed 2 of them... but still... gross!!!!) I am very thankful for the nose plug my husband got me when I was in the first trimester. Still using it!

I am home from work now, which has been rather weird. I was very used to the one day a week schedule, and kind of miss having a "job" besides being a mom. I am doing some consulting work on the side, but that hasn't been as regular so it's not a guarantee of something to do each week. I've been thinking about what I 'want' to do with all of my "free" time and have decided to focus more on being a better homemaker. Starting this week by getting out some books on organization (I'm pretty organized, but one can always improve!), parenting, and cooking (specifically, Cook for a Day, Eat for a Month).

I'm also working through the faith challenge of waiting and watching for our daughter's healing. I'm almost 28 weeks along (which reminds me... time to do the glucose test. blegh.) and am having a bit of a break from the near constant ultrasounds and OB visits (two more weeks with no visits! hooray!). I know I didn't go into too much detail on my last post, but basically what the doctors are telling us is that she has a pelvic cyst (saccrococcygeal teratoma, to be precise) that they think will be causing problems for her. Overall, they are saying that a) she will need surgery after birth, perhaps even immediately and b) that she may have a variety of problems, ranging from club feet to lack of use of her legs to lack of a working colon/rectum (depending on what the teratoma has been pressing up against).

Whew.

So anyway, we've been praying and believing that she is going to be just fine, regardless of if she needs surgery or not. (I however am really really wanting it to be not.) I think this situation has been harder for me than other things in the past because a) it's my baby girl! and b) there is absolutely NOTHING I can do to fix it. What I can do is: 1) Pray. 2) Have faith. 3) Read and listen to the Scriptures over and over. 4) Ask others to pray and believe with us. This is as much a reminder for me as it is a request for prayer. :) (And for patience with me as I'm sure more posts about this will be forthcoming.)

Right now it feels like I'm on a bit of a roller coaster. I have "good days" where I am able to speak in faith and feel positive, but those tend to be followed by "bad days" where I feel stressed, depressed, and would like to do nothing more than curl up on the couch, eat ice cream, and watch shows on Hulu until my eyeballs fall out. (The 18-month old tends to prevent that however. :) I like having definite projects to work on because it helps to distract me from thinking through all of the "what ifs" (I am a planner, so I try to plan for every possible scenario so I can deal with it better), but I am trying to avoid doing that because I know its not really going to help me in the long run.

I also have been avoiding talking about this with anyone but close friends/family, but lately it feels like if I don't have somewhere to write about this that I may just explode. So here we are!

Well, I've tired myself out with writing, so it's time for that whole ice cream/couch scenario I described before. Thanks for listening. :)