It's been a while

I have a lot of down time today while working the registration table at my event, so thought I'd post a little something for my one reader in Internet-land. :)

I've been wondering why I don't feel more excited when I think about the baby's arrival. I think it's because I am hesitant to be excited for things anymore since we've had big disappointments before. It's not that I don't trust and believe that our baby will arrive on time and perfectly fine in every way, but more that I can't comprehend what that will be like or feel like and therefore can't be excited about it because it's an unknown.

Kind of weird but that's what I think is going on right now. It's easier for me to be excited about our puppy and his accomplishments because he is here and now, whereas thinking about the future is less exciting because it's not here yet. Is this a good thing? I'm not sure. Maybe it's teaching me to wait on the Lord more.

When things happen then I can be happy? Are things supposed to determine my happiness? Probably not. But, it is nice when things work out for good, regardless.

I'm pregnant, not fat...

AAHHHH. So much going on right now. And every time I see my reflection I feel fat. I know I'm not, but it still feels that way.

So tired... and so much to do still... Lord, please help me make it through this day. Amen.

Link's Surgery & My Grouchiness

Today Link went to the vet for his neutering surgery. I felt HORRIBLE walking away as I left him there, but thankfully it all went well and he is doing okay so far. We have to call later to make sure he is good to get picked up today. My poor puppy! Oh well. We are trying to be responsible dog owners and prevent unwanted puppies from occurring in the future. I must remind myself of that.

So apparently if I don't eat when I first feel hungry I get really super grouchy! This has been an interesting realization over the past few days. Like right now, as I munch my PB&J, I am starting to feel better, whereas two minutes ago I was ready to rip this person's face off after reading the email they sent me. So weird. Normally I'm pretty calm and not violent at all.

Time is gone away

It seems like whenever I try to have a nice open week with nothing going on that stuff magically appears or reappears on my calendar.

Either I forgot it was happening (i.e., my hair appointment, book club), or we add things to our schedule because of family (i.e., Mom's potential knee surgery tomorrow, watching the nephews on Saturday).

Regardless, my nice open weekend is now full of things to do! :(

What the heck was I doing?

This is what I find myself wondering a lot lately... it appears that my brain is, for the most part, gone. If I don't write something down it won't get done, because I'll forget about it. I left my keys in the atrium of another building today. I have notes everywhere and I feel so disorganized, but this is how I have to be right now!

That, plus getting out of breath easily and stretch marks, are daily reminders that I'm pregnant. Plus, our little boy kicking me every so often is a good reminder too! (Yes, it's a boy! Hooray!)

I will be 22 weeks tomorrow. Next week I have another ultrasound to try to look at baby's spine - last time he wouldn't uncurl enough for them to see everything. It will be nice to be able to check in again. Sometimes I wish I had a window into my tummy so I could see him and make sure he was okay. However, it would be really weird to see him developing, especially in the early stages when the ears and eyes aren't in the right places. I guess God did know what He was doing when He set this whole thing up. ;)

The dog has landed!

We brought Link home on Monday. He is adorable, fuzzy, and playful - as well as easily distracted and somewhat anxious when left alone. We seem to have bonded pretty well, but then the result is that whenever I leave him alone he starts crying and jumping at the gate trying to get out. I feel horrible leaving him alone, but I don't want to encourage his antics.

He's doing pretty well with potty training so far - I'm actually very impressed. Corgis are supposed to be intelligent, but he is very smart. We're bell training him, but I think he thinks that he can ring the bell to get to go outside without using the bathroom, which is not the case! We will see if he gets it as we continue.

In pregnancy news, I am 17 weeks today. I have a doctor's appointment in 2 hours, so I need to hurry up and get ready. However, the waking up at 5:30 am for the past three days (plus the 1 am potty run for Link this morning) is making me super sleepy! But today I can't go back to bed for a few hours like I did yesterday. (Sigh.)

Apparently that was a bad idea...

I just watched a bunch of birthing videos on BabyCenter and I'm kind of FREAKING OUT!!!

I knew I didn't want an epidural, but now I realllllllllly don't want one. Needles freak me out and that needle is giant and they put it in your back!!!!! The C-section was also crazy. No wonder it's so painful and takes so long to recover from. I have to give big props to my mom for having three kids that way and living to talk about it. Yikes!

The best video I saw was the water birth. I don't think they offer that at the hospital where I'm going to deliver but I think they do have Jacuzzi tubs so hopefully I can relax. I also liked seeing some of the relaxation techniques (moving around, using an exercise ball, having the hubby help with massaging) that I think (hope!) will be helpful when I get to that point. I'm going to go see if they offer any classes like that besides the Bradley class. If not, we're taking that one!